Sex and the Senior

Its bad enough when children recognize that their parents have sex lives, but it is even worse when they realize that Grandpa (and or Grandma) are still being intimate. As folks age the common assumption is that they shrivel and just dry up. In today's active and assertive elder population, the reality is that the rate of HIV and AIDS is increasing. This is partly because of casual approach to the consequences but if someone came up with a condom called "Centrum Silver" I bet there would be more attention.

About a year ago, one of our guest speakers, Abby Katz, working with a Office of the Aging grant, came out to bring us up to date. The Sex and the Senior session was well attended, with ages from 60 to 101, but answering questions about masturbating and frequency were uncomfortable for these folks raised with old Catholic standards.

But everyone can laugh at themselves. Humor is universal, whether in your twenties or eighties, and keeps life spicy. One of my senior pals sent me an email collection of Hollywood Squares anecdotes and I almost had an accident laughing at them. I hope that there is no copyright problem here, these came from the internet, but I really have to share them with you. I dedicate the following to everyone out there who is still interested in sex, involved or intimate.

This is taken from a April 22 email from one of my art contacts:

Hollywood Squares' Peter Marshall was the host who asked the questions of a number of celebrity contestants.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False. A pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No. Wait until morning.

Q. What are 'Do it,' "I Can Help", and "I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know but its coming from the next apartment.

Q. As your grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

If you appreciate these, please comment. I will print out more next time.

My girl friend told me that "We don't stop laughing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop laughing!" My conviction is... that laugh wrinkles are the best kind.

Have a nice day.